They say that if you can’t talk, then write but what if feel like no one is really listening regardless of whether it’s written or said. I’ve got so much that I want to say but can’t write it so it makes sense to me or you. I don’t need someone to fix me orContinue reading “They say that if you can’t talk, write”
Tag Archives: depression
145. I really shouldn’t write at night.
Last night I did one of those ‘blogging while not really conscious’ things again. Re-reading it this morning, I was just grateful that I did post it too. The post was called, I don’t think I’ll ever truly let anyone in ever again. It was about 11pm, I’d just gone to bed, I had putContinue reading “145. I really shouldn’t write at night.”
141. Grief
They say that grief gets easier over time, I don’t know if that’s true but for me, it’s still as raw as day 1. For me, my grief journey had been really messy (and definitely didn’t follow the 5 stages I’d been promised). I’m not the person I was a few years ago, I waste moneyContinue reading “141. Grief”
139. The worse part of depression is the loneliness.
It’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted a blog publicly. It’s been a tough few weeks and some days have been really tough to get through. But I got through them and that’s all that matters. The last few months have taught me many things but most importantly, that things need to change.Continue reading “139. The worse part of depression is the loneliness.”
135. It really shouldn’t be this hard.
I currently feel like a swan on a fast flowing river heading towards really strong rapids. I’m paddling so hard under the water whilst trying to remain composed on top, but I can feel myself floating quickly towards the rapids and not knowing if I will sink or swim. It really shouldn’t be this hardContinue reading “135. It really shouldn’t be this hard.”
130. The pain of depression and trying to be strong.
It’s absolutely exhausting suffering from depression. Fighting against the overwhelming sadness that I have is exhausting. I don’t want to be strong anymore, I want to get better and that involves not being strong all the time. I’m just tired of feeling tired. Depression makes my mind overthink ALL the time so it is exhaustingContinue reading “130. The pain of depression and trying to be strong.”
127. Things I’d like you to know – Please read.
There are loads of things that I’d like you to know about having a mental health condition, especially depression. January is always one of the hardest months for me to get through and this year I feel 100 times worse than normal. Battling my mind every day is exhausting at the best of times, atContinue reading “127. Things I’d like you to know – Please read.”
124. When numbness feels worse than sadness.
Feeling numb to everything feels worse than it does to feel sad. At least with sadness, there’s hope. With numbness there’s nothing, good or bad. It feels like I’m living in limbo, not going anywhere, not feeling anything and not wanting to go on. The numbness can’t be explained to others so there’s no pointContinue reading “124. When numbness feels worse than sadness.”
119. Next week….
Next week I tackle another obstacle, I have an occupational health appointment on Tuesday. I have no idea what it’s going to involve or what they can do to help if they can help. I’m already overthinking it and what will happen. My head doesn’t think it can get through next week before it’s evenContinue reading “119. Next week….”
Protected: 116………….
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115. Loneliness hurts like hell.
Feeling so alone is such a hard place to be. Feeling like no one understands or even wants to start to understand the turmoil inside my head. Feeling broken in a way that can’t be described to others. Desperately needing to get better and to find the help I need but not knowing where thatContinue reading “115. Loneliness hurts like hell.”
Protected: A letter to you.
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106. Sleep just doesn’t help.
Just feel so drained, broken and tired, yet can’t sleep, switch off or escape the pain. That is all.
Protected: 104. When you know things need to change.
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103.1 Day 1
Day 1 of half term and I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of the headaches, I’m tired of running, I’m tired of trying to appear stronger than I really am and I’m tired of all the things listed here too. I’m just tired.
99. Struggling, lonely and numb.
I’ve been struggling for what seems an eternity. However, struggling is so hard to explain to those around me but it’s a quick universal answer. At least it’s a step on from the “I’m fine” response. Struggling is all of the below things but to me it’s mostly loneliness. Needing that one person to checkContinue reading “99. Struggling, lonely and numb.”
Protected: 98. A heavy head day.
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Protected: 97. A tired, cloudy Sunday morning.
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96. It’s ok not to be ok.
Today is world mental health day and for anyone suffering from any mental health condition, please remember that it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to talk, it’s ok to take medication if you need it and it’s definitely ok to not be ok every day.
Protected: 93. Feeling broken but numb.
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Protected: 81. I’m off to find my train.
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Protected: 80. I’m just tired of being tired.
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Just me and my lonely mind.co.uk 