Another shitty milestone ticked off this week, trying to explain my whole life in less than 5 minutes to a complete stranger over the phone in a bid to get some more help for me personally and at work, where I currently feel so out of place that it’s gone from being my happy place to a place where I sit in the staff room feeling lonelier than I’ve felt in a long time.
Anyway back to the phone call. I explained everything as much as I could, not sure if I felt listened to as much as I needed but I’m trying to be hopeful as ever. It felt like the call helped plug one of the many holes in my cup of optimism but equally drilled a bigger one at the same time. I hung up from that call, with chest pains, a headache, another crack in my already shattered heart and tear filled eyes. Unfortunately I feel so numb at present that crying is the last thing I can do but the only thing I want to do.
So the OH therapist said that I should try and take some of the stress off by only working until lunchtime for the rest of the term, recommended that I book in with a counsellor as soon as possible and try and find the right prescription and dose for the meds. Will that be enough, I doubt it but it’s somewhere to start from and hope it finally takes some pressure off my already elevated heart rate.
Just me and my lonely mind.co.uk 