About

This is my private blog on my recovery from mental health issues. I was unofficially diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple of years ago by my first therapist and I’ve been recently been finally diagnosed by my GP. This is me trying to get better so I can find the happy me again as I can’t go on feeling this way anymore.

The problem is that I keep my depression hidden from everyone, like a dirty secret. No one knows how absolutely broken I really feel inside and because of my childhood traumas, various ongoing abandonments in adulthood and grief/loss, I don’t tell people how I am really feeling. I rarely cry properly even though I am desperate to because my inner demons are telling me not to bother and not to be a burden on others. My mind NEVER switches off, it’s constantly going over and over stuff. Stuff that I long to really talk about but most probably never will.

When I started this blog in November 2019, I hope that I would be able to open up to people through writing. To explain to others how I really feel but I now it’s just going to be for me, because it’s too hard to share properly. A private blog as I fight onwards alone, documented fully here for maybe the world to see one day.