There are loads of things that I’d like you to know about having a mental health condition, especially depression.
January is always one of the hardest months for me to get through and this year I feel 100 times worse than normal. Battling my mind every day is exhausting at the best of times, at the moment that’s even harder.
There many things that people saying to me almost daily, however well meaning they are, quite often they do more harm than good.
So here are some of the things I’m fed up with.
- Having to pretend to be happy so I don’t upset you.
- No one taking me seriously in regards to how I feel.
- Being told to be more positive.
- People saying that I must be ok now as we’ve have a break And I’ve had a rest.
- People saying I can’t be sad because others have it worse.
- Having to fight the demons inside my head every day.
- people telling me that I can’t feel sad or lonely.
- Feeling ashamed of being sad.
- Feeling like I can’t ask for help.
- Feeling like I’m disturbing you or disappointing you.
- Being ignored.
- Feeling so lonely.
My mental health doesn’t work the way you want it to.
Depression is a hole inside me that I don’t know how to feel or heal from. Having depression is not a choice, it’s a complex medical disorder. It’s like being followed by a cloud and I can’t escape it. I take medication to try and balance the chemicals in my brain not because I want to. It’s not just a phase, I can’t snap out of it. Some days I don’t want to get up but I do so that people aren’t let down.
I’m not doing this for attention, I’m doing this because my mind is broken. I’m not feeling sorry for myself.
I’m trying my hardest not to feel like this. Trust me, I don’t want to feel like this but I don’t have the control. I don’t want to feel ashamed for my depression, it doesn’t define me. I’m not broken just because I’m depressed. I don’t want to feel ashamed for asking for help or for asking you to be there for me.
Sometimes just knowing I have someone to talk to makes all the difference yet I feel like I’m a burden on you when I do.
Just me and my lonely mind.co.uk 